So basiclly my love life has sucked @$& lately. As some of you know it I was with this one guy for like a year & a half, and we fell in love, but we broke up back in December shortly after my relocation.

He's moved on. He's engaged. While I on the other hand spent the last six months just 'having fun' & hanging out with other guys but never really taking in the plunge. Why? Because for some stupid reason guys don't take me seriously. They take me like a easy piece of @#%. I don't know why. I tell myself "I like this guy, but I don't want a relationship, I just want fun." So I get that with him, but then what happens? Then I want m o r e out of it and then the guy ends up running off. This keeps happening to me. And I despise it. The beggining of flings are fun, curious, and full of surprises but they all end so shitty for some reason or other. And I feel like it's my fault, when it's really not.

It's not that I miss my ex-boyfriend, but I do miss having a boyfriend in general. I miss that security. And the love. But I want things to be different this time. And to be honest, I know that I shouldn't be feeling this way. I shouldn't feel like a guy completes my life, when it's the opposite. I should complete someone's life. And another thing is, I honestly don't want a relationship right now, because the next time around I want it to be the real thing, and I'm neither ready nor old enough to have that. But I d o want to be happy in my own skin. And I'm hoping to find that under the layers of bruises, tears, struggles, and heartbreaks. I'm determined to find myself and love me and myself unconditionally.

I'm at school now by the way...No worries, I won't get in trouble, I'm in photography class<3


But anyways, I apologize that I haven't been on lately and I have not submitted any new work. I have four projects going on right now at school, including one from photography (I will add them when I find a free moment.)


But there is hope! I just found out that for Mother's Day weekend my parents and I are going to New Orleans. Sweeetneesss. I'm super excited. 2008 is proving to be very interesting.


So I think with my small trip to New Orleans, my photography project, and might I add my trip to Eruope, I will get back on track.

=]

Peace.
And happy Earth Day

Destination Arrival: June 4th, 2008

Okay, so I just found out that this summer we're going to Europe! I am soooo psyched! We're going to Holland, France (2 nights in Paris), Belgium, and of course Spain, where my family lives! We're landing in Holland and from there we're going to drive to the other countries. This is like my dream come true I have always wanted to travel around Europe!

Oh and Madi if you're reading this, which you probably are, I was thinking that maybe I can stop by in Germany and see you, or if not we can meet somewhere.

So in conclusion, I'm really excited, I am counting down the days until June 4th! This is going to be a chance of a lifetime and will be a super awesome oppertunity to take a bunch of photos.

Okay, so I had this Photoshop program, and it was awesome. But unfortunatly it was only a 30-day trial and now it's finished. I'm hoping that I can somehow get the serial number from somebody...anybody?

Sorry, but I don't have a thousand dollars to go spend on a computer program, I mean it's a bit ridiculous, don't you think? Don't get me wrong, the program is great--but there is not a single computer program that is worth $1,000--no matter how great it is. If it was like $100 or $200 (max.) then maybe I would.

But anyways, my point is, I recently took some great shots of my beautiful and crazy goofy-girl ferret but I want to add frames...but since I don't have photoshop I can't. Can anyone help me out here? Maybe refer me to a different program that's similar but not so costly? Or something? Peace~

Well I FINALLY got what you can call a "real camera." Before I was using just an average digital camera, but now looking back at it, it was NOT cutting it. So hopefully now that I've got a nice, proffessional camera my photography skills will increase. Wish me luck